“A hundred fannies in the cell”!!!

By Rosalie Tirella

We have never been a huge fan of Worcester City Councilor at Large Ric Rushton, but we’ve always liked the way he puts things. From “exploding heads” to imploding downtowns, Ric never fails to amuse/bemuse when it comes to syntax, American history, etc. Last night was no different! During yet another heated City Council debate re: the boozers/students of Holy Cross College and their inability to respect the blue collar neighborghood in which their school is located, Rushton threw this line out to his fellow councilors: “A hundred fannies in the cell.”

A HUNDRED FANNIES IN THE CELL! A HUNDRED FANNIES IN THE CELL!

Right on, Ric! This must be Worcester’s new rallying cry!

This is what all Worcersterites must think when it comes to boozing Holy Cross students! This is what we must all say and do to the Holy Cross alcoholics/play boys/play girls who recently held a big kegger on Caro Street, which culminated in their PAINTING it! Painting it!!! City Councilors were given photos and they were all dismayed/enraged.

What is it with Holy Cross? I can drive down Dewey Street, Florence Street, Claremont Street, alll sorts of Main South/Park Ave streets where Clark University students live – and you never see these problems. The streets are busy, people go about their business. The Clarkies blend in – go about their lives: being students, eating in the nearby restaurants or coffee shops. They are hip and cool, these Clark kids. They respect the people of Main South – the urban village in which they live 3/4 of the year. Maybe it’s because lots of them come from New York City and are just hip to the street scene.

Holy Cross slobs, on the other hand, come from the suburbs of Jersey, Pennsyvania and Connecticut. Daddy and Mom have spoiled them – left them more immature than the little kids who attend the nearby Quinsig Community School – and have probably taught them that it’s OK to unwind with booze after work/school. I mean what else is there to do in the suburbs of New Jersey except drink martinis and cheat on your wife with the hottie two streets down?

So when Holy Cross students get to Worcester, they have no idea how to relax after school work. So it’s: Let’s trash this ugly city! Let’s paint these losers’ streets! They look funny! They wear polyester! They are not what we see in our hometowns!

We’ve fuckin’ had it, too, Ric! We are on your side – for once! For once we feel you, as you would say, have nailed the head on this hammer!

Yes! Let the WPD hammer some of these kids! Oak Hill residents get hammered by thugs (see our cover story in this week’s ICT)! Let HC students get to know the REAL Worcester!

Rushton intimated that an arrest by Worcester Police, a very bumpy ride in one of Wormtown’s paddy wagons and a night in jail would make the party-hearty students of Holy Cross stop breaking the law, stop making noise at all hours on Caro Street, stop pissing in public, stop having parties that spill out into the street and keep Worcesterites up all hours of the night, stop have sex in hallways of local apartment buildings (ICT got a letter re: that little nugget a few years ago). The kids, if Ric’s advice is to be followed, would have “a record.” Their moms and dads would have to go to court and hire lawyers. These families, Rushton said, need a “crisis” in thier kiddies’ lives before they take Worceter seriously.

City Councilor Phil Palmeiri was also incensed, telling his colleagues that Worcester has not received “blessings” from HC president Father McFarland, that the head honcho/Jesuit has always dismissed Worcesterites’ complaints re: the trashing of Caro Street and other off-campus hell-holes. He said the “coddling” must stop.

100 Fannies in the cell, Phil! 100 Fannies in the cell! This is our call to arms!!!

That must be our rallying cry, if anything is going to improve in Worcester’s south end neighborhood.

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