By Rosalie Tirella

So about two years ago millionaire/Worcester old money-man Allen Fletcher sells “his” Worcester Magazine to the Kirk Davis/Gareth Charter/Holden Landmark crowd. All Worcester Magazine staffers interviewed. All editorial folks told they would be retained. In fact, each person is interviewed for a half hour, asked about his/her job, etc. People feel good; people feel secure and safe. Allen Fletcher writes a happy pappy farewell editorial assuring THE WORLD they are all in good hands with the Kirk Davis/Gareth Charter/Holden Ladmark pukes.

 Next week everyone is fired, except one reporter and sales reps. Bad feelings all the way around.

 Sales reps eventually say Fuck you Kirk Davis! and move on, too. This takes about eight months.

Next … Worcester Magazine cartoonist Doug Chapel, an artist/graphic designer who creates/draws “Action Geek,” a cartoon that had been running in Worcester Magazine for four or so years (for a whopping $50 per ‘toon – how cheap is rich boy Allen Fletcher?) receives an email from the new Worcester Magazine editor, Jim Keogh. Keogh was editor of the Holden Landmark for about 100 years and seems to have experience in running a paper, working with reporters. In his email Keogh tells Chapel he is fired.

Not very classy.

Next: Chapel gets a gig at InCity Times (and this website) where we run his ‘toon nice and big  – not the size of an Applebee’s coaster, the way Worcester Magazine ended up doing. And we treat Doug nice.

Next: A young idealistic reporter is hired at Worcester Magazine to help the not-so young Worcester Magazine reporter Keogh has kept. The young reporter (I think his first name was/is Owen) quits the paper. He worked at the magazine for about a year (which is turning out to be the magic number for most reporters who end up beached on the rocky shores of Worcester Magazine).

Then: another Worcester Mag reporter is hired. The paper is rechristened Worcester Mag because it is a “different kind of newspaper”  – its motto. (Yeah, boys, different all right! Different in that, unlike most companies, you can’t keep your employees for longer than 1 year!) The new Worcester Mag reporter is working at the new old Worcester Mag when … the old  Worcester Magazine reporter/news editor quits – the one who came with the building, file cabinets, etc. 

ANOTHER new Worcester Mag reporter is hired to fill the slot of the old Worcester Mag reporter who quit.

Wait! I think another Worcester Mag reporter had been hired somewhere in the midst of all the staff turnover. But he quit, too! I am not sure.

Back to the story: Then, just as this new Worcester Magazine reporter – Jeremy Shulkin – is crowing about his new job overlooking the kingdom of Wormtown and being in “the Club” (his phrase in his column!), the Worcester Magazine office on Water Street gets broken into and robbers take laptops, money and – because the reporters at Worcester Mag are all bald/balding dweebs – stayed a bit – to eat some Worcester Mag food. A light snack!

Worcester Mag Gareth Charter wrote about this and mentioned – so sensitively! – that, by the way, he was looking for a new Worcester Mag editor because the old Worcester Mag editor, Jim Keogh (well, not so old; he was only there for two years or so) is quitting. Charter called Keogh “Kehoe.” Why? Let’s see:  Jim Keogh is tall and skinny. Was Charter calling him a “hoe” because he is as as skinny as a hoe? Or does Charter think Keogh has a face that looks like a hoe? Or is Charter calling Keogh a “ho”? (Not very nice!) OR: (let’s hope) maybe Jim Keogh just likes to garden.

All this makes me think: WHAT A SHITTY COMPANY THIS HOLDEN LANDMARK COMPANY MUST BE! WHAT A FUCKIN’ CIRCUS WORCESTER MAGAZINE IS! AND: WHY ARE WOMAG EMPLOYEES LEAVING IN DROVES? WHY CAN’T REPORTERS BE HAPPY THERE?

Could it be because WoMag’s publisher calls his editor a “hoe”?

That really says it all.  

Stay tuned for more mayhem.