Mine is bigger than yours!

By William S. Coleman III

That got your attention!

Much can be said for the competitive nature in each one of us. It must be in the natural instinct of women and men, young and old, short and tall, fat and skinny, rich and poor,Dump and smart, educated and uneducated, able bodied and not, to be competitive. What is it that drives us to one up each other?

Notice how competitive we are as a society. We are competitive in our workplaces, our schools, the supermarkets, our churches, our mosques, our temples or our synagogues. We get competitive about everything we do. Just listen to people as they start comparing the stories of their lives with friends, or family or even perfect strangers. We get competitive when we go to the bank. OK, just once, my health care is better than your health care. People even get competitive about getting sick. Just think of two people describing their illnesses to each other: One person says I have a lump on my arm, the other person says my doctor’s really concerned about my health condition. The other person says my doctor wants me to see a specialist. Then another person says I had 16 polyps after my colonoscopy only to be told by another neighbor they had 21 polyps and two were cancerous!

We get competitive about our romantic relationships. Just imagine a woman saying to a friend, I forgave my cheating husband five times for cheating on me with four other women. Another women said I forgave my cheating husband 10 times for sleeping around on me with nine older women, and I’m still wondering about the sheep in the back yard named Barbara.

People really get competitive about their cars. At one time American automobiles in the fifties and sixties were the gold standard in America’s driving pleasure. You often heard people boast about the Packard in their yard or the Oldsmobile they drove on family holidays. Or the Woody we took the beach. Then you would hear people say, “Well, we had a Hudson and then we got a Plymouth Valiant.” Then you have the other families that were sworn to loyalty to only drive nothing but a Pontiac, a Rambler, Studebaker, Tucker or any other American car no longer made.

But nothing can compare with the competitive nature of the good people of Worcester. There are some of us that think this city is great and there are some of us that think this place sucks. True to form if you are not from Worcester and insult this city you will be met by locals telling you to get the fast way out of out town. OK, let’s get back to the competitive nature of people who live in the sevens hills of this city of 38 square miles. Our competitive nature is passed down to our children at an early age. We brag about how early our kids walk, talk, run, eat solid foods and go potty on their own. You hear parents having a “my kid’s better than your kid contest” in every park. Just listen around the swings. You will be surprise at the bragging right competition going on every day. How about the neighborhoods? Everybody knows that Vernon Hill in the best or is it Main South or Burncoat or Lincoln Street or Pleasant Street or Cambridge Street, Grafton Street, Shrewsbury Street, or the west side. Only you know for sure or really care.

Now as I close this rant, I thought I would share the story about the title of this piece. When my son, SONY IV, was just a little guy, and I like a good dad was teaching him to go to the bathroom at night and to lift the seat and aim for the water in the middle and not on the seat, he in is his little sleepy voice and with his eyes half shut said to me while aiming his little hose and putting out the water fire: “Hey, Daddy, mine is bigger than yours!”

Not true!

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