Scott Brown – no “Mr. Smith” Goes to Washington! More like: American Idol comes to Massachusetts

By Rosalie Tirella

Scott Brown, our new US senator, is being touted by some as a Capra-esque figure. That he, like Jimmy Stewart, in Frank Capra’s classic movie “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” is some naive, small-town bumpkin with sky-high ideals and an undying love for the little guy/gal. Someone who, like Jimmy Stewart, will go down fighting for the common man.

Bull shit.

I’ve listened to and watched Scott Brown. He is no innocent idealist – he is a wily politician who has played this great state for a sucker. He has turned my beloved state into a stage for him to play out his twisted political version of “American Idol” – starring Mass politicians. Starring Scott Brown! After all, only one contestant – I mean politician – can win! Only (Brown) can pull at the voters’ heart strings! Only one can just pour his soul out to the voters – who love him, love him, love him! Only Scott Brown can sing voters a loud, sappy version of “This Land is Your Land.”

But Woody Gutherie, upon hearing Brown desecrate his holy lyrics, would have driven a pitch fork through his phony heart (I would have helped). Woody Gutherie would have told Mass voters to vote for Martha Coakley. All the good things she’s done for Mass (going after Goldman Sachs and getting Mass taxpayers billions of $$ back, going after pedophile priests who preyed on/ruined the lives of hundreds of people in this state.) Coakely would have gone after the big banks (they can fuck us over again if they are not subject to new laws/regs), big industrial polluters … .

But voters wouldn’t have heard Gutherie’s song.

They were too busy watching Scott Brown pander to voters in his version of “American Idol.”

Brown’s acceptance speech in Boston will go down as one of the dumbest victory speeches ever given by a senator-elect. His you-can-have-my daughter! I-will-challenge-President Obama-to a basketball-game-with-my-daughter rhetoric made me think: Is Brown really this stupid? Or: Is Brown really this … shrewd?

The pick up truck Brown could never SHUT THE FUCK UP about, his preppy/country barn coat, his love for the “people’s seat,” his inane stroll through South Boston shouting to people “say hello to your dog – nice dog” (for the TV camera, of course) – even his slutty looking daughter’s low-rent, no-talent voice – were the props needed to win American Idol – Massachusetts style.

Corn ball symbols glued together by a good looking star – one who had even been crowned Sexiest Man in America by Cosmo magazine 20 years ago. A Full Monty kinda guy – who knows how to grab your attention. A guy who wants to grab your attention. A guy who wants you to grab his dick.

Why did you fall for this hick shit, Massachusetts?

Teddy Kennedy must be rolling in his grave. He knows that Brown will give the captains of industry their tax breaks, their loose laws and loop holes, and none of their loot will trickle down to the little guy and gal. George W. Bush tried it and failed. He is one of the BIGGEST reasons America is in the crapper! All the big tax breaks he gave to the richest folks in America did nothing to stimulate the economy. It (along with his wars) just plunged America into a hole trillions of dollars deep.

Scott Brown will dig the hole even deeper.

But, hey, he’s cute – and kinda dopey (in a very cute, endearing way). He is working to TELL YOU THIS. And you, Mass voter, have bought his bull shit.

It’s the American Idol-ization of Massachusetts politics!

I wanna cry.

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