By Jack Hoffman

I originally decided to write about bin Laden’s sex life and all the fear that this horny dude has caused not just the US, but Europe and throughout the Middle East. But today we live in this 24-hour news cycle and having a short mind set sorry, Binny boy, you aren’t even obituary news page anymore.

So as your very diligent and informative columnist, I just can’t resist on reporting the front-page news– maybe some from the second page.

Newt Gingrich, that infamous Fox News fat pig/commentator who told his second wife, sorry, first wife on her death bed, he wanted a divorce. All the while he was grabbing one of his aides who became wife number two or three. This dude wants to be president of the USA! I can’t understand how republicans get away with so much infidelity – especially with hookers, other men, and who knows what else. And they still have the chutzpah to run for political office and some get elected. All the while John Edwards, the sole democrat, gets banished into the woods of Carolina for knocking up a fan/vidoegrapher of his.

The head of the IMF (International Money Fund) Dominique Strauss-Kahn (don’t you just love that name?) was fingered in a sexual attack and what else with a NYC hotel maid. This was not a Maid in Manhattan story. All my Jewish friends want to know if he is a member of the tribe. – Yes it’s true – It’s in the Jewish genes and that would be a great defense. With all that money, why not ring up one of the hundreds of female “escorts” advertising some good sex in the yellow pages?

Now the big one — Maria Shriver and Arnie — the Erich Segal novel gone badly awry. This nation could announce we’re in another war and still that famous love story would be number one. Without getting into the whole horny guy who some wanted for president. It’s always fascinating to me how Hollywood and sex can knock anything off the front page.

Now comes a good one: it answers the questions on why republicans are just so fucked up, especially those running for president, or suggesting it, e.g. Donald Trump. Now that’s also a number one story. Rick Santorum, one of the darlings on the right, and the Tea Party – are they still in business? And just about every republican gave most of the credit for the bin Laden massacre to Bush. So Santorum states it was the enhanced interrogation that led to el rancho Laden.

John McCain gets up on the Senate floor and says all that nonsense is bull-shit. So Santorum fires back: What does McCain know about enhanced interrogation? Yikes!

Let’s just say for the time being President Obama wins the election by default, stupidity, or just not knowing what’s out on the street. I will write later on how right-wing radio has lost one of its wings and is slowly falling out of favor.

From the news services, al Qaeda has a new leader. Does this mean more weapons to be built and a delay in US troops leaving Afghanistan?

Did they really build 20 buildings in Washington to deal with terrorism?