Tag Archives: sexual assault

The dick problem

Rose, a few days ago…

By Rosalie Tirella

I’ve hesitated to write about all the politicians up for election (locally and nationally) who’ve been accused of sexually assaulting women. Groping them, coming out of nowhere and touching their vaginas, attempts at strangulation, posting photos of genitalia on State House computer screens.

Has there ever been a sicker crop of political candidates? Yes! Of course there has been! But today we’ve got the Internet, social media, smart phone cameras that also video- and audio-record …these technological marvels can catch, record for posterity and disseminate every punch, every push, every cry…every sick pic.

This behavior is sick – but it happens ALL THE TIME. By angry powerless men AND happy, powerful, rich, connected, politically ambitious men. Many love their wives. Bill Clinton, Donald Trump; and closer to home with allegations of assault, sexual creepiness: State rep candidates Moses Dixon, John Fresolo…Democrats, Republicans, and every political party in between, the pervs are everywhere. Make no mistake: their behavior IS criminal.

I can also write about this issue, like all women, from a personal perspective: having bad experiences with men who thought nothing of hurting me – they felt they were just being “guys.” Taking advantage of their God-given right – after all, I’m just a girl. Like all the girls. Like all the girls that all the creeps treat like shit because they feel ENTITLED. Because they are desensitized.

Former  U.S. Prez Bill Clinton, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary’s hubby, was a big pig – probably as big a pig, if not bigger! – than the guy vying to be prez today – Donald Trump. The women, all disgusted and feeling violated, have spoken. We know all the Bill trauma, let’s focus on this presidential election!: Trump has gone up to female strangers and kissed them, touched their vaginas, pressed for sex, pressed for affairs – private parts, private feelings, a woman’s body/soul – her personal space, physical special stuff!

Years ago, when I lived in the ol’ hippie commune I mentioned a few columns ago (a very good experience over all!) I had a guy at the farm-commune come up from behind me and touch my pussy just like Donald Trump did to his victim! It’s 30 years later and I still remember and think about the incident – it still UPSETS AND ANGERS ME. I was in our big walk-in refrigerator in the farm house putting eggs in cartons, I think. I was all alone, bending over – maybe the refrigerator door was ajar. Well, from out of nowhere Randy comes from behind and just tickles my pussy, from behind – through my blue jeans. I jerked up, startled. Creeped out. He just smiled and left the refrigerator. I never told anyone at the farm. Randy was a respected farm hand, a nice guy according to everyone, well liked by all. Where was I, a 19 year old girl, to go with this? My feelings? I kept the encounter to myself – and kept away from Randy the entire time I lived on the commune.

Trump thinks casual pussy touching is ok: he says it is mere LOCKER ROOM shenanigans – joking around! A boy bein’ a boy! Like towel snappin’! Being free.

Wrong, Donald! Listen to all the women who have been creeped out by your behavior over the decades! LISTEN to them.

Yet tons and tons of men DO shit like this all the time and don’t get that it’s wrong, criminal.  They pooh pooh the behavior. Parents/families, school, sports teams, churches, society have all validated this behavior; it’s the guys’ privilege, their prerogative – just funnin’. Even flirtin’.  After all, they’re so cute, handsome, funny, smart, rich …

Or … they’re so sad, lonely, needy … You fill in your own adjective. Excuses for hurting and shaming women must not be tolerated. Men must be re-educated!

FOR HIS LOCKER ROOM STATEMENT ALONE DONALD TRUMP SHOULD NOT BE VOTED PRESIDENT IN 2016. America needs to be in 2016: AWARE. SENSITIVE. EQUALITY LOVING. These times do not call for Trump. They never did.

Now to state rep candidate Moses Dixon: We were gonna endorse Dixon, but I tend to believe what his girlfriend at the time said about him: He hit her and tried to choke her; she feared him; she feared for her safety; she got herself a lawyer. We women do not do all this stuff – painful, so painful going public with such intimate chaos/hurt – to make things up, to play games with guys.

I think Moses’s Republican opponent is pointless, that Dixon would serve the district in better and smarter fashion than she has, a lightweight of an incumbent if ever there was one. The district NEEDS a strong progressive Democrat! But I CANNOT AND WILL NOT ENDORSE AN ABUSER. Even a politically progressive one. And what does “progressive” mean, if your personal life is so “regressive”?

Once again state rep candidate John Fresolo: an excellent, effective former state rep who really got and advocated for my district: the Kelley Square grime, crime and shootings scene. The Union Hill drug houses, inner-city poverty, job losses, kids struggling to find their futures, old people afraid to live in their houses with all the crime swirling around their homes, their old haunts. And Fresolo delivered the bacon, the goods for the district! For years! He was well liked, considered to be hard working, a true and loyal friend. Heck! His mom lived on Jefferson Street – 7 minutes away from me. Fresolo came up the real Worcester blue collar nitty gritty way, and he represented a district that reflected his roots!

But then out came his genitalia!!!…photos of which were posted, I am praying, accidentally, on every computer in every nook and cranny of our beloved, gold domed, stately State House. Always the claims about Fresolo’s treatment of women dogging Fresolo. Not good. Then finally this, on a personal note, which makes me not wanna endorse him: About a year ago he and I were gonna go out for coffee, maybe a mini-date breakfast kinda thing. I was lookin’, maybe he was, too. Well, within a few hours of making the breakfast date, John was asking me to text him naked pictures of myself!!!! God! It was all so fast – and weird …and gross. I declined – and then canceled our breakfast.

Clearly, Fresolo has issues with women – issues that can – and have –  imploded his political career.  Too bad – I still think, if elected, he’d do better for the district than incumbent Dan Donahue, a pleasant guy who may just be too sweet and entitled to really get passionate about our issues. And we have all the big city ones right here, folks! A true challenge – that Fresolo would have been up to.

When does the personal become the political?

For me, it’s when the dicks abuse dick power.

It’s on us!

Clark University has joined the national “It’s On Us” campaign to stop sexual assault and on April 6 unveiled an “It’s On Us” video featuring approximately 30 students, faculty, and staff from across campus uniting for the cause.

In this 90 second video, produced by junior Carlos Deschamps, members of the Clark Community pledge to create an environment on campus where everyone feels, and is, safe.  A diverse group of students and campus leaders express their willingness to take responsibility and do something to prevent sexual violence on campus.

Clark University President David Angel is shown saying, “At Clark University, ‘It’s On Us’ to stop sexual assault.” He adds that he took the pledge, and encourages others to do the same (to recognize that non-consensual sex is sexual assault, to identify situations in which sexual assault may occur, to intervene in situations where consent has not or cannot be given, to create an environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable and survivors are supported). University Police Chief Stephen Goulet appears in the video as well, pledging his commitment.
The White House launched the “It’s On Us” campaign on Sept. 19 and received support from student leaders at 200 colleges and universities, collegiate sports organizations and private companies.

Since then, at least 10 Massachusetts’ colleges and universities have joined the national campaign; Clark and WPI are the only colleges in Greater Worcester that have created and promoted “It’s On Us” videos to date. WPI’s video is available here.

Kathleen Palm Reed, associate director of clinical training and research associate professor of psychology, advised the video project, along with a subcommittee made up of individuals from Clark’s Coordinated Community Response Team.  They include Tim St. John, director of Student Leadership & Programming; Erin Dolan, therapist and wellness outreach coordinator; Meghan Reilly ’16; Maria Cerce, hall director, Residential Life & Housing; and University Police Officer Kalah LaPlante.

Professor Palm Reed said it was particularly fitting that the video was launched during the month of April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

“As we’ve always recognized the importance of bystander education as a key part of violence prevention, we embraced the opportunity to participate in this important national campaign. The ‘It’s On Us’ campaign’s call for action speaks to our community responsibility to end sexual violence,” said Palm Reed, who is also co-director of the Clark Anti-Violence Education (CAVE) program along with Denise Hines, research associate professor of psychology.

Reilly, a psychology major who minors in sociology has spent the majority of her undergraduate career researching topics of interpersonal and sexual violence among the undergraduate community.  She plans to devote her honor’s thesis to this topic.

“I know someone who has been personally victimized, and stories like hers have fueled my resolve at better understanding this epidemic, educating my peers about sexual and interpersonal violence, and changing community beliefs and norms,” Reilly said.
In addition to this latest video in recent months Clark has increased its violence prevention program initiatives.  In fall 2014, the University began using interactive behavioral modeling online programs with first-year students and expanded its programming for both undergraduate and graduate international students. The University also worked with several community partners to bring special programming to campus in October for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
In a memo to the campus dated April 1, President Angel informed the campus community that, beginning with the new academic year, an expanded program of training will be mandatory for all incoming students, and that Clark will also be implementing a new training program for faculty and staff. To support this expanded programming, the University will fill a new half-time position that will be responsible for developing and implementing additional training and awareness efforts related to sexual misconduct.

One for the ladies

By Rosalie Tirella

I have been going to the Auburn Public Library every day for the past two and a half years to do InCity Times business stuff: blog, write my columns, send/answer emails, read other rags, learn new social media skills, etc. Lovely experience! The staff, especially former head librarian, Cindee, were incredible! I used to have Internet hook up at my house, but I never got any work done there – just watched “I Dream of Jeannie” reruns on Hulu.com – so I made the APL my new media office. At home, I felt isolated and unmotivated. At the Auburn Public Library I felt connected, welcomed, liked. And got a ton of work done in a half hour to an hour. Fantastic!!!

And the Auburn Public Library’s fab librarians … Where to begin? They quickly became pals, women who greeted me when I entered, asked me about my Husky mix, Jett. Women who like my columns about my mom. Smart women who could teach me how to deal with this website: how to use widgets, plug ins, download photos, etc. Women who ran Facebook and social media tutorials, who said: cool skirt, Rose! or nice scarf! Gal pal librarians! How cool! I would give the ladies candy for Easter and Christmas and gave them a plant this spring. They are that helpful and super. Former head librarian Cindee was amazing. She brought APL into the 21st century re: computer programs, computer education, etc…. She even brought in a Keurig coffee machine so we library patrons could buy those great K cups and make ourselves a nice cup of java and enjoy Green Mountain’s best while blogging, etc. (bought one for myself this past Christmas, liked their machine so much) Cindee was so attuned to the library patrons, welcoming everyone. I remember seeing a little black boy, not a very common sight in Auburn, at the stand up computer. He was alone, doing homework. Cindee went right up to him, gave him a wonderful hello, knew his first name. A head librarian for the 21st century, Cindee was! She left almost a year ago. Sent me a Christmas card. I sent her a statue of a West Highland terrier because she had two adorable white Westies that she would sometimes bring to work! Adorable pups! Several months ago, a new head librarian, Dianne Ramsey, an older woman, took her place. The kind of woman you would expect to see retiring from a job in a few years, the kind of head librarian who knows little about social media, website building, 21st century library stuff. Not very open to me either … But I never expected this:

Three or so months ago, I began to notice that this old guy was always checking me out at the Auburn Public Library – like waiting for me to enter or leave the place. I was there. He was there. I was at the stand up computer. He walked by the stand up computer. I was at the sit down computer. He walked by the sit down computer. Sometimes he would scratch his ass as he walked by me. I changed my arrival times. He changed his arrival times. I came in late in the day. He was there late in the day. I came in earlier. He was there earlier. Our paths always seemed to cross. He was always staring at me. Creepy. Definitely not random. Definitely not coincidental.

A few weeks ago, another creep at the APL was more forward with me. (FYI: The APL is filled with wonderful people – these two guys are not the norm!!! But this is a column about women making their way in the world …) Anyways, this creep was leaving the library. I was walking my dog Jett. He, in his car now, drove right up to me, blocked my path and started talking to me, as if he wanted me to approach his vehicle. I would not and gave him an annoyed look and told him to drive away, waved him off. He did. But then as I walked Jett around the little pond behind the library, there he was: his car parked at the bottom of the hill on Southbridge Street, beeping at me and waving at me. I was freaked out. I went to the Auburn Police the next day and filed a complaint – and filed one with the library. The next day, he was sitting in the APL reading the paper. I said to him: STAY AWAY FROM ME. STAY AWAY FROM ME. I AM HERE TO WORK. He said: I was just giving you the peace sign yesterday and got right back into my face. Said he was an Auburn taxpayer (homeowner, I am guessing), intimating that because he owns a home in Auburn he has the right to … What? Block my path with his car? Intimidate me? Sit at edge of street, waiting for me and beeping at me as if to say … make me lady.

The Auburn Police were pointless when I filed the complaint. Made me feel like I was the criminal. Depressing … But the creep has kept away. Has not blocked my path with his car since. I had made a ton of noise.

Back to the old coot, creep #1…

Feeling emboldened by my ability to put the younger creep in his place, I was gonna deal with creep #1. There he was, in his maroon convertible, an old fuck, totally repugnant to me, driving a snazzy car … always there. Once, in the library, as he walked by, I made the most horrible scowl, the most wretched face I could imagine, as if to say to him, YOU ASSHOLE, YOU REPULSE ME. STAY AWAY. He walked by and scratched his ass. Knowing that the police would be pointless in this case, that no “crime” had been committed other than a kind of creepy stalking that would make most gals feel uncomfortable, the next day, I went up the old creep as he watched me walk my dog near the library parking lot, and took his photo with my cell phone. I also (later) took a picture of his car and his license plate number – 6241 RD. A Mass plate. I was not going to let this go.

A few days later, as I was leaving the library, there he was in his car, just sitting in it, staring. I stood in the library parking lot, yards away from him and became very Green Island. I shouted to him, in my best Green Island grrrrowl: STAY THE FUCK AWAY from me! Do not fuck with me! OR: You will be the star of one of my columns. I mean it.

Denial …

So, unwilling to give up my fave work site, unwilling to have this jerk intimidate me out of the library I love, I went to one of the APL librarians and said: Can’t take this jerk anymore. This is every day. EVERY DAY. This is not random or coincidental.

We decided that I would work in a tiny room in the APL, on a lap top. With the door closed I would have privacy and not see the creep and he would not be able to see me, walk by me, smiling stupidly or scratching his old monkey ass.

Problem: It was like working in a little jail cell! My new space was such a small room, beige cinder blocks. No window. My work felt like work. I could not chat with my librarian gal pals, talk about vacations or animals or … anything. I thought back to last year at the Auburn Publilc Library. A beautiful blond, in her early 40s, was looking for a job on the Internet, updating her resume too. She was so beautiful and nice. Every day there she was, working on her future, feeling proud. Then some creep came in – I swear it was the creep in the car I just wrote about, looked just like him – but Mrs. Ramsey, the new head librarian, denies this. Anyways, the creep was hovering near the lovely blond. She panicked and just blurted out to everyone in the Auburn Public Library: I met him on a dating website. he won’t go away. I had to call the police. She was red faced, flustered. My heart broke for her.

She left the library. And never came back. Her job search ended …

Back to me in my little jail cell, feeling: Why am I stuck here? This is no fun! Why is he out there, still being the creep!

The tipping point: A few days ago, I had entered the library, ready to go to my teeny room. But decided to buy a coffee at the info desk. As I gave the librarian my money, we began chatting. Well, guess who comes out from behind the stacks, drawn out by my dulcet voice? The old coot creep. To just stare at me, from a distance … AURGH!!!! Into my new work space I ran.

After, I left the APL, I called Mrs. Ramsey, the new head librarian. Distraught. Upset, I cried: This has been going on for months! I am afraid!


I told here I was writing a column about this.

Mrs. Ramsey shrieked: AND IF YOU DO, YOU CAN NEVER RETURN TO THE AUBURN PUBLIC LIBRARY!!! Then she hung up on me.

The wonderful Cindee would never have acted this way. She, like the fab head librarian she was, would have spotted the perv months ago – and dealt with him. The fact that the perv is a retired state rep, driving a convertible, scratching his ass in front of me, makes his a cliche in the sickest sense. Some player politician – probably married to some very nice meek wife – who thinks he can get away with this.

I was stunned by the assholeness of Mrs. Ramsey, someone I could sense did not like me the way Cindee did and the other librarians do. Probably didn’t feel I fit in …. Really, she is a throw back to the old school, the old fashioned librarians who can’t hack it in a diverse America an America of Twitter, social media, coffee machines, women who run papers … and nervy pervs who want to prey on women and girls. Auburn must look perfect, for Mrs. Ramsey. Her library must look perfect. Meanwhile, women looking for jobs leave or work out of rooms the size of a walk in freezer! And the way she screamed at me!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one is for the ladies!!!!

After, Mrs. Ramsey hung up on me, I cried. Like a baby! Then I pulled over to the side of the road, Googled town of Auburn, town manager and got the phone number of Julie Jacobson, Auburn Town Manager and former Worcester Assistant City Manager, Wusta, my city. Julie knows my rag, I have interviewed her for InCity Times. I told everything to Julie. She was, as always, the perfect professional. She told me I was made to feel “uncomfortable.” She told me to go to the police to report the creep’s behavior. She said what she could do on her side of the equation was to call Mrs. Ramsey to tell her what she said was inappropriate. She did – the same day. Thank you, Jules!

Libraries are public places, places where women have the right to write newspaper columns, look for jobs, read the newspaper etc IN PEACE. Not be made uncomfortable by CREEPS.

A pal said: Just don’t go there anymore, Rose. Problem solved.

She is well meaning, but NO, the problem is not solved. The creeps will just get more brazen … and there will be the next woman.

People need to be aware … smart …. tough … Women need to stand their ground, even when women like Mrs. Ramsey turn the tables, call foul on you and go to bat for a … perv cause he is a retired state rep who has clout (who drives a convertible, and thinks he is cool …. like I said a cliche beyond cliches. The guy is an ugly old monkey!)

I think I am in the middle of a shit storm, gentle readers.

And I will not give one centimeter.

I am writing this column in the middle of the Auburn Public Library. Not in my little jail cell room. I am drinking flavored water and enjoying being around all the great, diverse people who come together in the Auburn Library, a very American place. Democracy in action.

We are all equal in America, in our public spaces.

Like I said: This one is for the ladies.

The Toombs of 132 Institute Road hear the truth

By Rosalie Tirella

Finally! The Truth! The awful – but liberating – truth! “J.” had had enough this past Friday night! The Toombs of 132 Institute Road, Worcester, were put in their place by J., the Toombs’ next door neighbor! He finally got so disgusted and freaked and worn down by their weird, perverted, exhibitionist behavior, that he cracked. Had a mini-meltdown – right in the middle of the West Side. This past Friday night J. let go let the Toombs know that he was sick of living next door to them – perverts – perverts who molest each other, exhibit their breasts and genatalia to him, scream “cock sucker” in the middle of their back yard – and in general sexually assault him at every turn.

Truly a night mare.

“Naked! Naked! Naked!” J. screamed at the top of his lungs to his next door neighbors. I’M sick of it! Don’t show me your boobs and cocks – you do this so I see! No more! You disgust me! You do this for me – all your other shades are drawn.

J. was right – all the other blinds and shades of the Toombs’ house are closed/drawn. When they walk around naked in their house – the family on the other side of them can’t see. The same goes for the homeowners at the back of their home. But the huge picture window facing J.’s back door and the attic window that is across from his second floor always remain open. And at night, the lights are on – bright. So they can show J. their boobs and cocks.

All for J. The poor guy.

I have written about “The Boob “- Terry – Theresa – Toombs – and how she folds laundry in her picture window at night, the lights on bright, Terry buck naked. I have written about how Billy junior, their son, was sexually inappropriate with a developmentally disabled person – and got off the hook thanks to a smarty pant lawyer. And Billy senior was put a way for two years for his sexual misdeeds.

How did this clan ever get in the West Side?

Debasing themselves – debasing J.

This is America. People can do what they want to do, and do who they want to do, in the privacy of their homes – as long as it’s between two consenting adults. But people do not have the right to exhibit themselves to their neighbors. Shove their privates into their neighborhs’ faces. DRAW THE BLINDS, you perverts.

J. has been for the past year or so, I believe, showing symptoms of someone who has been sexually abused. By outing his anger, screaming for them to stop, he took control of the situation – the Toombs’ filthy secrets and ways were outed.

For a year or so now, the Toombs have foisted their sick behavior on J. J. gets up at 1:30 in the morning to go to the bathroom. What does he see? Billy senior buck naked in the window facing him, lights on, playing with himself. J. is repulsed.

J. is outside working on his truck, he lifts his head up to change the station on his truck radio and what does he see? Terry – Theresa – Toombs – 61 years old, overweight and with a mouth as big and dirty as her bottom – folding laundry buck naked in her big picture window, all the lights on – boobs a-bouncing – the window only yards away from J.’s truck/J.

J. cannot leave his house without being visually assaulted by these sickos.

Pull the blinds down, you pigs! J. screamed at them Friday night. You perverts! I am so sick of this! Then he added: I plow the driveway [it is a shared one] – you have never lifted a shovel or put down a grain of sand or snow melt! The roof is sagging [they have to share a garage, too], you need to pay for half of the roofing job! The driveway needs repairing!

J. was livid. He was beside himself. I have never seen him so enraged. He is a little guy – but big boned and strong because of his contracting work – so he has a great diaphram. He was bellowing the truth. BELLOWING HIS DISGUST. The entire neighborhood heard him railing against what they have probably only guessed at. But now everyone on Institute Road has been warned.

And as Terry Toombs and Billy senior and their loud mouthed new “boarder” a 30-something broad who leers at J. and who is contantly taking pictures of the driveway whenever I come by, saw and heard how upset J. was this Friday, what did they do? They all smiled, even laughed – and half heartedly denied the charges. Terry said that the last time we both saw her – she was wearing a little pink sports bra and that is OK.

Why are we even tallking about your bra??!!! J. screamed.

The Toombs had accomplished their goal – pulled J. into a sick intimate world. By screaming GO AWAY, J. pushed them back, pulled himself out of the muck that is the Toombs of 132 Institute Road.

When the police came, I asked the cop: What can we do about the boobs in the window, the penis in the window?

The cop said: CALL 911

And 911 will be called.

It will take the police some time to get to 132 Institute Road, and by then the Toombs will have put their boobs and their genetalia back into their sweat pants/shirts and maybe even drawn their blinds. But at least J. will have made the phone call. He will have empowered himself – and created a log – to use in court, if necessary – of the Toombs’ perverted/exhibisionis behavior.

And how they make us all sick.

Crime update

By Sue Moynagh

A month ago, a group of neighborhood people, with the help of Representative John Fresolo, held a press conference to speak out against increasing violence in our Union Hill community. I wrote an article for the InCity Times a few days later, detailing our concerns, and letting the public know that we all have to play a part in taking back our neighborhood. On Monday, November 29, there was another press conference, in Green Island’s Crompton Park, because of another act of senseless violence. The body of Kevin Shavies, age 21, was found early Sunday morning. He died of a gunshot wound to the head. The violence continues.

Later on the same day, a group of concerned residents met at the Green Island Neighborhood Center for the second public hearing on the Crompton Park Master Plan Update. Police Chief Gary Gemme attended, knowing the issue of safety would be foremost in our minds. He could give little information about the victim or the progress of the investigation, which has been given high priority, but reassured residents that police presence in Green Island would increase. Reinforcements would come, however, from the Vernon Hill neighborhood. (Union Hill is often referred to as Vernon or Oak Hill). He also asked those present to call and report if they have any information about this crime. The need for community involvement is crucial. This was something we had stressed at our own neighborhood press conference a month ago- the need for public participation in taking back our community. Continue reading Crime update