By Sue Moynagh
St. Valentine was a priest who assisted early Christians in Rome during a time of persecution and was supposedly arrested and beheaded when he refused to renounce his faith. His death is said to have taken place on February 14, 270. What does this have to do with hearts and love and all of the other Valentine’s Day traditions? Nothing really, but sometime afterwards, church elders replaced a heathen celebration in which boys drew lots with the names of girls, surely for no good purpose, with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day. Apparently, some of the pagan tradition lived on, but in a manner more suitable for Christianity. It became, over time, a day for lovers and for children, friends.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect holiday for February. Those big red hearts give that color and vitality that remind us that there could be life and passion in the middle of a colorless, cold winter. For children in St. Casimir’s school, which I attended in the late ‘50’s and early 60’s, Valentine’s Day gave a welcome break from the usual school routine of studying for exams or writing essays. For some of us, though, it was a holiday that stirred up mixed emotions.
I was one of the unpopular kids. Although we did not use the terms “nerd,” “dweeb,” or “uncool,” you knew if you didn’t belong to any clique or pack of kids, you were an object of contempt and scorn. I was as nerdy as they came. I had thick glasses that always managed to become lopsided and were often held together with adhesive tape. My teeth were crooked and my face usually sported cat scratches. Of course, when adolescence hit, I had a good crop of zits. I never dressed well, was never quite pulled together when we were out of school uniform. Great target for bullies. And I was bullied, by girls and boys, physically and verbally. At recess, I would sit in some corner, trying to make myself smaller, invisible, so that these kids would just leave me alone. Valentine’s Day was a day for showing friendship, and I had no friends. But I always had hope that things would change.
Simple, single- sided cards were available by the box in any five and ten store. “Be my Valentine” or some other saying was printed prominently on a big heart. We also made cards in school for parents, and at home for friends. I went for quantity over quality. I cranked out cards of various shapes and sizes, using paper doilies and construction paper hearts which were gaudily covered with glitter and stars. The red, white and pink color scheme was too boring for me, and I used almost every color in my Crayola box. There was no one to share them with, so I kept them for myself.
My mother always bought enough cards to give to all of the kids in my class, and it was a big class, over thirty kids. She insisted, as did many other parents, that everyone in the class would receive a card. I knew very well that I would not be receiving cards from everyone, especially the class bullies. One of the more creative girls or perhaps the homeroom nun herself, designed a big Valentine card box covered with shiny paper and pink and red hearts. We placed our cards inside and waited eagerly until Valentine’s Day was upon us.
One of the teacher’s pets was picked to call out the names or pass out the cards, a time of high anxiety if you were unpopular. I knew my heart would pound as names were called. As the cards were distributed, I would frantically pray: “Dear God, let me get at least one card. Please, let me get more than one card.” A small pile of cards answered my prayers. Not the whole class, but enough to ease my anxiety and put a smile on my face. It never occurred to me that other parents made their kids give cards to everybody in the class. I didn’t question whether or not these small symbols of affection were true gestures of friendship. I lovingly put the cards into my book bag as if they were treasures.
In high school, this practice was discontinued. Girls in the all- girl Ascension Catholic High School were getting cards and gifts from boy friends. In school, we often had cake or candy at study period, good enough for me. I particularly enjoyed the little hearts with cute sayings on them. Over time, Valentine’s Day became just another day.
I imagine some things have changed over the years. I still see boxes of cards for sale, so I assume they still pass out cards at school. I guess some things have changed. Cards are created using computers, and messages of love and friendship are sent via email. But there are tons of Valentine’s Day gift options. Go through any store and see stuffed animals, balloons, candy, pastry and jewelry, all with the holiday theme. I do hope that things have changed in the schools, though, and that kids will learn to be more accepting of those who are different. I hope that when cards and gifts go out, everyone will be included, and no one has to worry needlessly that there will be nothing for them. Valentine’s Day will then truly be a day of love and friendship – for all!
