The Montvale District’s “Histrionic” tennis court (or: Sometimes I just wanna box some ears)

By Rosalie Tirella

Sometimes it’s embarassing to live in Worcester. To see so many poor kids and adults wrapped in sweatshirts in the dead of winter, getting off and on our city buses … finessing the Worcester city snirt (snow mixed with dirt) … and then to have to tune into last night’s Worcester City Council meeting to watch and listen to the snobs of our Montvale Historic District throw a hissy fit over a crumby (unused) tennis court.

To have to listen to some West Side matron practically breakdown in tears as she stood up for the downtrodden folks of the Montvale Historic District! Oh, it is not easy to live in the wealthiest, most exclusive neighborhood in Worcester! she told the city council. To live in a historic district with other professionals and upper income folks who wear lovely coats and drive BMWs and never have to worry about riding our city buses means sacrafice! A historic district takes its toll on a person! A historic district can be so constricting! 

The Montvale matron gave some examples of the chaos that threatens to destroy the very soul of the Montvale Historic District: a neighbor of hers has put flower boxes on her windows! Another neighbor had the temerity to errect a little tool shed on a hill in his yard! She can see it from her home! Mon Dieu! Cover your eyes, my fair lady! (actually quite ugly – not half as attractive as the lovely Latinas who finnese Worcester snirt.) But there was more! The Montvale matron said she too has sinned! Why just this past election season, she had the gall to stick a couple of candidate lawn signs in her yard! How garish!

At this point, you just want to go up to the cunt and box her ears! This is why our country is in such bad shape. You have totally self-absorbed people obsessing over complete crap, while millions of Americans suffer – wear sweatshirts in the dead of winter! So many Americans are barely surviving, and yet our Montvale nitwit swoons over the possibility that her neighborhood may not be quite as exclusive if, say, the young couple who bought the decrepit tennis court and very nice house to which it is attached, want to restore the tennis court, or heaven forbid, put in an in-ground swimming pool.

There were other Montvale whiners who got up to speak before our city council members who, ultimately, voted in favor of the Monvale snobs when they voted to advertise that the tennis court be included in the Historic District. The city council subcommittee that studied the matter recommended (3 to 2 votes) that the tennis court become “historic.”

HIstoric, my ass. This is simply the council’s way of kowtowing to some very rich, very influential players in town. This is the council’s way of enabling a bunch of selfish NIMBIES – people who think they can tell everyone what to do! People who think they are more enlightened that people who can’t afford to live in a historic district. These same people made the Antaquarian Society’s life a living hell when THAT nonprofit – one of the most august nonprofits in the country – was thinking of buying the property. The Society wanted to use the home to house scholars who come from all over the world to do research at the Society. And maybe they would have paved over the tennis court (not in the least historic) to make way for a little parking lot so that those wild and crazy scholars would have had some place to park their cars when they came to Worcester to do their research.

But the Montvale snobs went ape and the Society pulled out.

Now it’s the young couple who are their victims. This young couple, I believe, should sue their realtor for not telling them what a shit-pie they were about to step into when they bought their home and its notorious tennis court. And they should sue the City of Worcester for putting restrictions on their property! It’s their property!

Merry Christmas, Montvale Historic District snobs!

You suck.

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